Sometimes we look at our spouses mistakes with such disbelief and hurt; we can forget they are human. As time progresses, so does the rage, anger, and soon bitterness takes root. It’s dangerous to allow bitterness to take root because it will take possession. It will take over our thoughts, actions, and prevent us to love our spouse. No matter what is said or done; it’s not to our satisfaction. We will criticize how’s it’s done, turn away, or refuse to be a part of anything. If bitterness dwells in the heart; the spirit will dwell in the home.
Keep in mind God’s Spirit dwells within us so if we are not walking in love; we are not walking in truth. Also, if we don’t forgive our spouse, we don’t love God. “Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.” (1 John 4:12) Now it doesn’t mean we never confront or discuss an issue within the relationship. Love confronts to bring restoration to the relationship; this is the goal. As we walk with Christ, the Holy Spirit convicts us of sin not to condemn us but to address the sin. He convicts our hearts so He will direct us to the cross.
When we walk in bitterness we grieve the Spirit of God in our lives. It’s a humbling thought but it’s dangerous to grieve the One who sealed us for redemption. If we grieve the Spirit of God; we don’t understand our salvation. Take a moment and reflect upon the price Christ paid for our salvation. As you reflect or meditate on the price of salvation; may we remember who He paid it for! He paid it for us!
So, how do we remove the Spirit of bitterness; the root has to be removed.
As I was writing this, a metaphor came to mind about this issue. Do you realize that a weed grows in good soil? Although it’s growing its presence can destroy the rest of the garden. So, how do you remove weeds? It has to be pulled out.
It’s coming to the cross with true repentance for allowing bitterness to take root. Only the Holy Spirit can remove its power. Allow the Holy Spirit to dig deep in the heart, so He can get to the root of the issue. “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:30-32
The best way to encourage your spouse is to love them as Christ does-unconditionally. His love doesn’t have strings attached nor does He make us earn it. He loves where we are but He refuses to leave us there!
As the old hymn sings “In the Garden” by Austin C. Wiles
And he walks with me
And He talks with me,
And He tells me I am his own;
And the joy we share as we tarry there,
None other has ever known.
Building strong marriages together,