Bitterness Takes RootSometimes we look at our spouses mistakes with such disbelief and hurt; we can forget they are human.  As time progresses, so does the rage, anger, and soon bitterness takes root.  It’s dangerous to allow bitterness to take root because it will take possession.  It will take over our thoughts, actions, and prevent us to love our spouse.  No matter what is said or done; it’s not to our satisfaction.  We will criticize how’s it’s done, turn away, or refuse to be a part of anything.  If bitterness dwells in the heart; the spirit will dwell in the home.

Keep in mind God’s Spirit dwells within us so if we are not walking in love; we are not walking in truth.  Also, if we don’t forgive our spouse, we don’t love God. “Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar.  For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.” (1 John 4:12)  Now it doesn’t mean we never confront or discuss an issue within the relationship.  Love confronts to bring restoration to the relationship; this is the goal.  As we walk with Christ, the Holy Spirit convicts us of sin not to condemn us but to address the sin.  He convicts our hearts so He will direct us to the cross.

When we walk in bitterness we grieve the Spirit of God in our lives.  It’s a humbling thought but it’s dangerous to grieve the One who sealed us for redemption.  If we grieve the Spirit of God; we don’t understand our salvation.  Take a moment and reflect upon the price Christ paid for our salvation.  As you reflect or meditate on the price of salvation; may we remember who He paid it for!  He paid it for us!

So, how do we remove the Spirit of bitterness; the root has to be removed.

As I was writing this, a metaphor came to mind about this issue.  Do you realize that a weed grows in good soil?  Although it’s growing its presence can destroy the rest of the garden.  So, how do you remove weeds?  It has to be pulled out.

It’s coming to the cross with true repentance for allowing bitterness to take root.  Only the Holy Spirit can remove its power.  Allow the Holy Spirit to dig deep in the heart, so He can get to the root of the issue.  “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.”  Ephesians 4:30-32

The best way to encourage your spouse is to love them as Christ does-unconditionally.  His love doesn’t have strings attached nor does He make us earn it.  He loves where we are but He refuses to leave us there!

As the old hymn sings “In the Garden” by Austin C. Wiles

And he walks with me

And He talks with me,

And He tells me I am his own;

And the joy we share as we tarry there,

None other has ever known.


Building strong marriages together,

Tina Wetor



  1. says

    Tina- I’m sure you were speaking directly at me! I’ve been allowing bitterness to settle within my heart and it’s becoming so destructive to my relationship with my husband that I’m almost at the point of no return. Please pray for true healing and conviction of the Holy Spirit to uproot this bitterness from within and again allow me to walk whole-heartedly in love and love alone.

    • Tina Wetor says

      Shannon-If you are feeling that I spoke to directly to you-that was the Holy Spirit! I can’t take credit for that. However, I am truly grateful for your honesty and openness about this because it brings hope. Right now it may seem as if you are at the point of no return but because you spoke about this here, God can start repairing the hurt inside but only if you allow Him! God loves you too much to stay in this dangerous spiritual state, He wants you whole! The Holy Spirit has already brought conviction but only YOU can surrender to Him. So, I pray this brings you courage, hope, and peace because God is starting to break this! Bitterness has to be uprooted so I will leave a small prayer to pray in your private time with the Lord:
      By the act of my own free will, I purpose and choose to forgive my husband for ___________________. (you fill in the blank) I ask for the bitter root to be removed from my spirit so I can forgive, draw close to my husband, and walk in truth. Thank you Holy Spirit for your conviction, revelation, and help during this time. I ask for every demonic stronghold to be broken that’s attacking my marriage, may your presence be a fire around me and my home. Please forgive me for not forgiving my husband but I choose now to cancel his debt. Holy Spirit speak your truth to me about this situation, In Jesus name. Amen

      Shannon-I hope this encourages you and know I will keep in prayer! However, please let me know how you are doing and also if you need more support, please contact us! We have a marvelous group of women on Facebook to support, pray for you, and help you grow in this.
      In Christ,
      Tina Wetor

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